Why do I have to wear clothes? I don’t remember anymore.
Waffles are good. Salad is good. Combination = good?
Shut up.
Have my toes always been that far away?
Blind bikini line shaving should be in the X-Games.
Of all the weird changes my body has been through in the past few months, leaking boobs tops the list. wtf.
Oh dear god. This kid actually has to come out of me somehow.
My cleavage is amazing. Good work, girls.
There is a tiny penis inside me. And I made it. Okay then.
Getting up from lying down makes me feel like an overturned beetle.
I’m going to seriously injure myself laughing or sneezing.
Naps are not optional. Must. Sleep. Now.
Have you always been this annoying?
I’m not ready. I’m not ready. I’m not ready.
I’m fine. Really. Totally fine. AAAAHHHH.
So what if I cried over parmesan cheese?
My boobs are never going to stop growing. I’m about to give Annie Hawkins-Turner a run for her money.
I’m really going to miss this when I have to share him with other people.
I really hope I don’t poop in the delivery room.
If one more person asks me when I’m due and looks surprised at the answer, I’m going to lose it.
Do they make ice pack socks? Come to think of it, do they make ice pack sheets?
My tummy itches but it’s also numb so I can’t feel it when I try to relieve the itchiness. That’s just mean.
I broke a bra. Literally snapped one of the underwires in half. This is ridiculous.
Oh, hello – I think that was a foot that just migrated across my belly. Cute!
Putting ice packs under my desk is maybe the best idea I’ve ever had.
Tiny baby hiccups in my belly are the cutest thing ever.
But seriously, clothes. WHY.
Happy Renaissancing!
Renaissancing Me 